Recently there has been at my church a lot of “drama” going on in our youth. It’s been really stressful for me — knowing people’s secrets, people being mad at each other, trying to always please everyone — it’s not fun. Some teenage girls thrive on so-called “drama” — but for a lot of us, it stresses us out…and we just want out. But how? We feel trapped. I mean, you see the involved people daily at school or weekly at church — or wherever — on a regular basis. I’ve often felt like I just can’t get away all the gossip and people liking each other.
I was browsing the website A Bowl of Moss and Pebbles and really connected to something the authoress said:
Looking back, I wish I could tell my fourteen-year-old self, “Just go share your heart with Mom. No matter how silly it seems, get her godly counsel on how to respond to these emotions. Then come back and share the things you want to remember and pass on to your children. Embrace joy.” If I could do it again, I would put more effort into recording the truly good memories and lessons learned from a more sanctified perspective. I probably would have matured much faster.
Girls, this is my advice to you. Don’t dwell on your “complex” emotions and romanticism. Don’t dwell on yourself — life is so much more fascinating and joyful when we focus our attention on Christ and the life He’s given us to live abundantly. It’s good to evaluate your soul and root out sin in your life. But if you’re keeping a journal, let it be a place of praise and thanksgiving.
(Click here to read full post.)
She was speaking about journal-keeping; but this really spoke to me.
My definition of drama is this: gossip, foolish “crushes”, and people who may not be truly your friends. I’ve been caught up in it during this summer, and I intend to completely separate myself from it. Girls, it is not of God. No matter if your friends are Christian (as mine are), or if it’s all church related, or if there isn’t any “actual sin” — drama, foolish talk, are not what God wants for you. There is not place for this in God’s kingdom.
But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless.
A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much.
There are other passages (mostly Proverbs) which speak about gossip:
- Prov. 11:13
- Prov. 16:28
- Prov. 18:8
- Prov. 26:20
- Rom. 1:29
- 2 Cor. 12:20 (this one makes it clear that since Paul is afraid to find gossip, it is not of the Lord.)
However, not all drama is gossip, and I realize this. Sometimes, it’s just foolish talk — empty, without meaning…for people who just want to talk. There are several proverbs about fools as well (if you want to look some up, you can go to http://biblegateway.com/). I found two verses that talk specifically about those who speak foolishness:
Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.
For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish men.
(1 Peter 2:15)
I believe the second verse very clearly states that it is God’s will that there ought to be no “ignorant” or “foolish” talk among believers…for a few different reasons.
First, foolish and worthless talk can hurt others. God wants there to be no division among believers. How can church be all about God while the church is so caught up in arguments and gossip among themselves?
Second, it pulls people’s focus away from God and onto worldly issues and things that are of no real eternal significance. We are told to “store up treasures in heaven” — not live for worldly issues.
Third, what kind of example are we setting to unbelievers if we are constantly arguing among ourselves? We are told to be imitators of Christ. How can we be imitators of Christ if we are not living in harmony with each other?
Now that we know what’s wrong with drama, how do we correct it?
I personally happen to often turn to Romans 12, verses 9 – 21, especially verse 18.
These verses have really helped me when it comes to dealing with other people. There’s a lot of wisdom about interacting with our fellow Christian brothers and sisters. Check them out! They are definitely worth it. One other quick sidenote: you don’t have to like someone to love them with Christ’s love.
I pray that any of you who are struggling with “drama” will also find peace.