By Emily Sue and her friend Andrea during class.
– – –
Once upon an eternity, Jesus was chillin’ with God. God said, “Son, I am going to make people.”
“Cool beans,” said Jesus, “What’re they?”
“Things that will love Me… but you’ll have to die for them,” replied God.
“Don’t worry; I’ll be glad to do it!” said Jesus, “But…”
“Yes?” questioned God.
“If you create people, can I invent My own creatures that will love Me?”
“Sure! Why, that’s a stupendous idea!” said God.
“SWEETNESS,” said Jesus, “They will have four legs, and sticky-up ears. They will have short fluffy tails and furriness all over them.”
“What will You call them?” asked God.
“I don’t know yet…” said Jesus, “Can I also create another animal?”
“Okay. This one will have a wide, flat, gigantinormous mouth/bill/beak. It will be shiny and live in the water. Maybe Australia. I will call it a Llama, and the fuzzy thing I mentioned earlier will be a Platypus.”
“Those. Names. Suck.” said God. “Switch them around!”
“But the shiny thing doesn’t sound like it should be called a platypus!”
“Well the fuzzy thing should still be called a Llama,” Said God.
“Okay, the fuzzy thing will be a Llama, and the shiny thing will be called an Andrea.”
“Awesome,” said God.
So Jesus made Llamas and Andreas.
Many years later, one Human testified as Llama-spit dripped down his face, “The Llamas turned evil…”